Experiencing sexual abuse or assault is a profoundly traumatic event, leaving deep and lasting scars. The path to healing is unique for every survivor, and the decision of how and when to seek justice is deeply personal.
If you're a survivor who has hesitated to come forward, you're part of a significant group. Research shows that a large number of these incidents never make it to law enforcement, indicating that you're not alone in this struggle.
You are part of a community of survivors who have faced similar challenges in reporting their abuse.
One study by the Bureau of Justice Statistics puts the estimate of unreported incidents at approximately 68 percent. This statistic is not just a number; it represents millions of survivors who, for a multitude of complex and understandable reasons, did not or could not file a police report.
However, it's crucial to remember that civil justice can be a powerful alternative for holding perpetrators accountable, often long after the abuse occurred. This is not just a legal process, but a pathway that can empower survivors and provide a sense of justice.
Most Sex Abuse Victims Know The Abuser
In most instances of sexual abuse, trust is a common component. Someone in a position of trust manipulates the victim. Usually, victims of sexual abuse know their abuser. Most involve situations when the victim is manipulated into sexual contact rather than being forced or threatened with physical harm.
Because sexual abuse goes unreported far too often, abusers exploit this trust to silence victims. Because the perpetrators are frequently someone known to both the victim and the victim's family, seeking help from parents, siblings, or other family members is difficult.
Let's explore some common reasons why so many sexual abuse cases go unreported. These reasons may not be unique to your situation, but are shared by many survivors.
Trauma and Repressed Memories
The experience of sexual abuse, especially during childhood, can be so overwhelming and distressing that the mind may repress or block out the memory as a means of self-protection.
This psychological response is a recognized consequence of trauma and can prevent survivors from consciously remembering the abuse until many years later. These memories, when they resurface, can be triggered by life events or uncovered in a supportive setting, such as therapy.
This delayed recall is not uncommon and can help explain why survivors may not disclose or report abuse until much later in life.
Fear of Retaliation or Not Being Believed
One of the most significant barriers to reporting is fear. Survivors often fear retaliation from their abuser, who may be in a position of power, such as a family member, teacher, coach, or employer. The threat of further harm to themselves or their loved ones can be paralyzing.
Compounding this is the fear of not being believed. Survivors worry that police, friends, or family will doubt their story, blame them for the assault, or minimize the trauma they endured.
Feelings of Shame, Guilt, and Self-Blame
Society has, for too long, perpetuated harmful myths about sexual violence that can lead survivors to internalize feelings of shame and guilt.
Many survivors wrongly blame themselves for what happened, questioning their own actions, clothing, or decisions leading up to the assault.
These feelings are a common psychological response to trauma, but they are often exploited by abusers who manipulate their victims into feeling responsible. This misplaced sense of fault can make the thought of telling anyone, let alone an authority figure, feel impossible.
The Relationship with the Perpetrator
A painful reality of sexual abuse is that it is frequently committed by someone the survivor knows and trusts. In a vast majority of sexual abuse cases, the perpetrator is known to the victim, be it a family member, intimate partner, or close acquaintance. This close relationship complicates the decision to report in numerous ways.
Survivors may feel a sense of loyalty or love for the abuser, especially in cases of incest or intimate partner violence, which is a pattern of abusive behavior in a relationship that one partner uses to gain or maintain power and control over another.
They may also depend on the abuser financially or emotionally. Reporting could mean destroying a family, ending a relationship, or causing immense turmoil within a social circle.
Lack of Faith in the Justice System
For many survivors, the criminal justice system itself can feel like an intimidating and unwelcoming institution. They may have heard stories of difficult interrogations, grueling trials, and low conviction rates for sexual assault cases.
The process of reporting to the police, undergoing a forensic exam, and repeatedly recounting the traumatic details can feel like a re-victimization.
Furthermore, survivors may worry that there is not enough physical evidence to "prove" their case, especially if a significant amount of time has passed. This lack of faith that the system will deliver justice can lead many to conclude that the emotional cost of pursuing a criminal case is simply too high.
Organization Cover-Ups
Many organizations cover up an abuser's prior history of abuse. The history of abuse within the Catholic Church was only recently fully exposed, and along with it, the history of concealment. Such efforts are not unique.
Children make most allegations with perceived limitations in perception and perhaps honesty. Therefore, organizations are seldom fully confident that a report of sexual abuse is legitimate. Thus, abusers can frequently get away with multiple incidents, even if reported.
For example, churches may, rather than acknowledge the incidents, simply transfer a pastor to a new, unsuspecting congregation with a warning to the pastor.
Person Least Likely to Suspect
Sexual abuse is frequently committed by the last person one would expect. Sexual predators look like everyone else. Perhaps they coach Little League baseball and serve as leaders in youth organizations such as the Boy Scouts of America.
However, no one looks like a sexual predator. Thus, children often fall victim to individuals who appear trustworthy and credible. This is how the wrongdoer gets away with it. None of us willingly leaves our children with someone we suspect is a sexual abuser.
Because sexual abuse goes unreported far too often, predators are able to continue harming victims while maintaining a facade of trust and respectability.
The fear, manipulation, and misplaced trust that prevent victims from speaking out enable abusers to evade accountability for years, sometimes even decades.
Victims are scared and rarely report abuse themselves. They are afraid of reprisal from different sources, most of whom may be difficult for outsiders to understand. Victims fear their abusers but may even have an unhealthy and hard-to-understand affection for their abuser.
Thus, it may be difficult for a victim ever to report abuse. Attempts to report to parents or school administrators may be dismissed as unbelievable.
A Path to Justice in California
While the reasons for not reporting to the police may feel valid enough, survivors of sexual abuse in California should know that the criminal justice system is not the only avenue for accountability. The civil court system offers a distinct path to justice, and California has some of the most supportive laws in the nation for survivors.
California's statutes of limitations for filing a civil lawsuit for sexual abuse have been expanded significantly, providing generous windows of time for survivors to come forward.
This means that even if the abuse happened years or even decades ago, and even if you never filed a police report, you may still have the right to hold your abuser and any enabling institutions accountable.
With the guidance of a skilled and compassionate California sexual abuse attorney, it is possible to seek justice on your own terms and timeline. For more information, contact our sexual abuse law firm at Injury Justice Law Firm, located in Los Angeles, CA.
Related Content:
